step one: replace entire storyline w musical standup routine performed by one man who can’t sing, isn’t funny, and only wants to talk about fucking corpses and being intellectually superior to everyone else and hey how come women don’t like him? dedicate a whole 5-minute number to using your dead roommate’s talking skull as a fleshlight But No Homo, it’ll be like, so funny.
step two: you may wish to include other speaking parts, in order to create a narrative as opposed to just a horrifying stream of consciousness set to music. if this is the case, please make sure to have them be entirely pre recorded and played off a computer backstage, preferably through a curtain and badly out of sync with the actor’s lines.
step three: have your girlfriend (presumably) just be sitting there in a too-small translucent nurse’s outfit prodding props around for no obvious reason. don’t give her any lines or explain what she’s doing there or who her character is. DO regularly break the fourth wall to imply that every line you flub or prop you knock over is her fault somehow.
step four: make sure you’re stood between the audience and the exit so they can’t leave until you blessedly drag a prop corpse offstage 20 minutes in and half of them simultaneously grab their coats and run
Hooooooly hell how do you fuck up this bad?
I mean at least there’s a good one out there if you want to absolutely forget about whatever the fuck this is JFC
thinking about that one wordless calvin and hobbes sunday strip thats just calvins dad ditching his work to go play in the snow… its going to make me cry
